Have you ever woken up, thought you were set for a certain kind of good day and then had someone flip you off on the freeway and then cried? Have you ever had someone get randomly really angry at you and suddenly watched things escalate where you felt your face flush with anger and you were ready to fire back? Did you ever wonder about why these things happen? You might think it had nothing to do with you – but something in you carries that tension…the world is truly as mirror:
Here is my theory on it:
Everything is energy. Not just everything outside of you. You too are made of up of energy. Pay close attention to your own energy and you can help change the whole world. At least that’s my theory and I’m sticking to it.
People carry their energy but they don’t even know it. This is why some people are very attractive to us. They might not even be physically that beautiful but being in their presence is calming or encouraging – or conversely can leave us drained and tense. If you are very sensitive to it you will start to notice a person’s energy has very little to do with what they actually say.
The same is true for what we say to others. Sometimes I’ve watched myself say “please can someone help me with the housework” in what I think is the sweetest voice ever. Everyone around my flinches. It’s because the energy behind what I say reveals its ugly self and what I am really saying is “why doesn’t anyone ever fucking help me around here!!!” and my tension comes out even though I am trying to hide it. That’s because I didn’t clear my own energy before I communicated my need.
You see, you can’t fool or trick energy. And it’s not so easy to get it to shift. Well, it can be pretty simple but extremely hard at the same time. It requires very little of us to shift – but sometimes we are so mired in it, we cannot see it or shift it without a lot of effort and work.
What happens is this: life brings us a series of disaapointments from the time we are very little. These start to be carried around in the human body in their own way. Whether it is a child who walks forever with head more bowed. Or a chronically stiff neck or tummy aches. I watch people I work with and how I can feel their energy before they have ever spoken to me. One person I can think of – the sweetest woman I think I know – she always carried energy of being very reserved and shy almost as though she is saying through her body language: “please don’t step on me, in fact pretend I’m not even here at all.” When one talks to her though one can see she is very much dying for love and affection and attention. But she would never, ever, ever ask for it with words. And her body language probably never conveys to most people any desire for contact at all! So this energy that she carries and projects (probably because she was hurt in her past trying to get that love) gets her the exact opposite. It would be almost impossible for her to shift that now in her life without a great deal of effort or help. Almost a cosmic mirror would need to be held up to her to learn to walk all over again. But it can be done by being conscious again and again, in practice, of ones’ own energy.
When we go into the world and have a fight with someone, it is not their fault – if we have reacted back to their tension. Even if they screamed at you – and mistreated you – something in you got triggered and your response is YOUR responsibility. Think about it – if you were in the most perfect energetic state, you could only see their behavior for what it is: strong negative tension. And this might even make you feel compassion for that person and how tense and hurt they are to behave in such a way. But you’re getting triggered is exactly that: you allowed that tension in YOU to become louder. Why? Because it is right there in you. And here is a lesson for you to be aware you have some work to do on that place in you.
Please know – without this moment you wouldn’t even know that tense place in you exists. When things are perfect, we think we are much more enlightened than we are – the real dirty work comes into play when the tension hits the fan.
So my thought today is to start to simply pay attention to the energy around you and in you and in others. Don’t listen so much to their words people say as what the energy in their body is actually telling you about them. And start to pay attention to how your energy can shift a situation. Yes, you are that powerful, by shifting your own energy – you can change the world.
What does this look like in practice: (sample dialogue?)
“What the f–k are you doing!!!” (Angry person!!!)
Inside dialogue of self:
“F—k you. (Anger) How dare you talk to me like that! Who do you think I am! (Pride)(Ego) I didn’t even do anything to you (hurt?)”
Dialogue inside you suggested: “Wow that’s awful and hurtful and makes me get triggered. Ah….that means I am supposed to notice energy now. Why is this person so hurt that they are acting so off kilter? Let me try to shift my energy from defensive and angry to compassionate. BREATHE…ONE…TWO…THREE…”
Maybe try to send some love in your heart their way if you can:
“Are you okay? What’s going on…?” (Do not react personally at all to what was said)by